Monday, May 11, 2009
Saturday, October 11, 2008
A Super Fan's Letter to THE Britney Spears
Dear Britney,
It has come to this super fan's attention that over the last few years you have had some trouble with keeping yourself covered up AkA You've showed off your cooter one too many times and this is the last straw. Admittedly your latest video might be the hottest thing you've done, but I guess it just slipped your mind to have a little something on in you hot sauna set up.
I have thought up a few different ideas to help you to remember to put some clothes on.The First idea I've come up with is a "To Do List that you check in the morning. It would go like so " 1. Shower 2. PUT ON CLOTHES(INCLUDING UNDERWEAR" and then add in whatever you fabulous pop stars do throughout the day.
The second idea is a little more drastic but it might just be crazy enough to vote. THE SHOCK COLLAR. I mean, just think of it. You get a cute collar in pink, get it all bedazzled and you'll have the hottest new accessory in town. It would look hot and would shock you as you leave the house while missing a crucial piece of clothing(I.e shoes on the long drives so that you don't get stuck going into a grimy gas station bathroom barefoot)
Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for "if you got it flaunt it," and all of us know you got it, but I can only imagine that your boys have seen more of their mother than needed and that is NOT ok. Just think of the children! And don't think for a minute that your tendency to forget clothes makes me less than three you any less, but southern belle's are supposed to be classy.
<3 always
Your Loyal Fan
Ceecee
It has come to this super fan's attention that over the last few years you have had some trouble with keeping yourself covered up AkA You've showed off your cooter one too many times and this is the last straw. Admittedly your latest video might be the hottest thing you've done, but I guess it just slipped your mind to have a little something on in you hot sauna set up.
I have thought up a few different ideas to help you to remember to put some clothes on.The First idea I've come up with is a "To Do List that you check in the morning. It would go like so " 1. Shower 2. PUT ON CLOTHES(INCLUDING UNDERWEAR" and then add in whatever you fabulous pop stars do throughout the day.
The second idea is a little more drastic but it might just be crazy enough to vote. THE SHOCK COLLAR. I mean, just think of it. You get a cute collar in pink, get it all bedazzled and you'll have the hottest new accessory in town. It would look hot and would shock you as you leave the house while missing a crucial piece of clothing(I.e shoes on the long drives so that you don't get stuck going into a grimy gas station bathroom barefoot)
Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for "if you got it flaunt it," and all of us know you got it, but I can only imagine that your boys have seen more of their mother than needed and that is NOT ok. Just think of the children! And don't think for a minute that your tendency to forget clothes makes me less than three you any less, but southern belle's are supposed to be classy.
<3 always
Your Loyal Fan
Ceecee
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Trashy Television is the love of my life
So as some of you guys might know there is a lot of less than savory content on Television. Reality TV has become the staple of every major network. As much as I love shows like The Hills, RW/RR Challenge, Gossip Girl, and One Tree Hill( a guilty pleasure of mine since High School) I have to admit that a lot of it is craptacular.
some Reality shows(Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, Shot of Love, and Paris Hilton is my new BFF) are like train wrecks. They are horrible, but when you see it coming, you just can't stop watching! Paris Hilton's show for instance(and I love her I really do) is a sad excuse for having a rich person boss a bunch of misfits around because she has nothing else to entertain herself with. I mean being referred to as a "pet" or "doll" is not what I would want to hear from my BFF.
The funny thing is, many people that I know that watch these shows are completely aware of how bad these shows really are, but can't help but watch them anyway. Believe me I catch plenty of grief from friends and professors for watching as much trashy television as I do.
That being said, I LOVE LOVE LOVE me some trashy television. Especially The Jewel of MTV, "The Hills." I want to BE Lauren Conrad! Since my sophomore year in college this show has been a staple of my television watching schedule. I can also say with pretty strong confidence that some of the people in the show make me feel a whole lot better about myself. I mean seriously when you date someone like Spencer Pratt and have yourself convinced that he is a decent human being, you MUST have some seriously self-esteem issues. Heidi, please for the fans, READ A DAMN CHICKEN SOUP BOOK!
Then there are the "cool" guys Brody Jenner, whom, like the others I have absolutely NO idea why he is famous, besides the fact that his father is an Olympic Athlete from the 80's, and Doug, the self indulgent AAA Ballplayer who has no business doing anything requiring taking up other people's breathing space.
And then there are the sisters of Spencer and Heidi that kind of stumbled into the spotlight for no good reason, but have made many waves on the show. Holly Montag(probably the most sane person on the show, we'll see how long that lasts)and Stephanie Pratt(or as I like to call her Psycho McCrazy)are two "characters" that have slowly become major players on the show. I know it may have seemed harsh when Brody "got all up in stephanie's grill" but I am will to take bets to see how long it will take for her to land in rehab. One can only pray that Holly moving in with Spencer and Heidi will play a part in the demise of "Speidi."
I don't genuinely hate many people on television, as I understand that they are usually just characters, but in the case of Spencer Pratt I can safely say that he is really and truly a bonefide DOUCHEBAG! Now that I've gotten that out I will go back to playing Backchannel on Backchannel.mtv.com and feed even more into my unhealthy obsession with this reality TV giant. <3 you all
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Hostile Work Enviornment
Apparently unbeknownst to me my job description was altered within the last few months I've been working at the bagel shop. It has become clear that babysitting has been added to the duties of shift supervisor. Who know that telling a young employee to do such tasks such as washing dishes, sweeping/mopping, or wrapping up food items would require me to watch over them like a proud mamma hen(or prison guard) to make sure the work got done the right way.
It has become apparent that the only way to deal with the situation is to use the oven to somehow blow up the bakery. Ok ok ok, it's a little drastic, but hey, a girl can dream! I've noticed that my manager's hiring criteria has slipped as of late. It used to be that in order to be hired you need to be available at certain times, and needed to have some sort of visible work ethic. Now it seems the criteria for being hired has changed to simply, having a pulse.
Even though things have become more and more tiresome at the bakery, the people watching scenery has continued to improve. As I mentioned the other day we have the crazies that could fuel conversations for days, the Main Line residents, and the regulars that somehow have motor skill disabilities as evidenced by the constant stream of sugar, milk and coffee on the condiment bar each and every time I walk past it.
On a completely different note, I would like to point that I am not the most politically minded person, but in light of recent crashes and politicians using their words as daggers I must point out that Sarah Palin must be the most ridiculous pic for VP I have ever had the opportunity to follow during a campaign. It has become apparent that the woman is clueless. If not for aides, and "dry runs" before interviews and campaigns she would be a HOT MESS instead of looking like an over-rehearsed pageant wannabe. Now I am not a huge SNL fan, but Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have become comic gold on that show. If not on Weekend update, the two of them always manage to make even the most serious of political faux pas the funniest damn thing on television. In honor of them I have included the last two skits they have done together as Sarah Palin and Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin and Katie Couric. I hope you enjoy!
It has become apparent that the only way to deal with the situation is to use the oven to somehow blow up the bakery. Ok ok ok, it's a little drastic, but hey, a girl can dream! I've noticed that my manager's hiring criteria has slipped as of late. It used to be that in order to be hired you need to be available at certain times, and needed to have some sort of visible work ethic. Now it seems the criteria for being hired has changed to simply, having a pulse.
Even though things have become more and more tiresome at the bakery, the people watching scenery has continued to improve. As I mentioned the other day we have the crazies that could fuel conversations for days, the Main Line residents, and the regulars that somehow have motor skill disabilities as evidenced by the constant stream of sugar, milk and coffee on the condiment bar each and every time I walk past it.
On a completely different note, I would like to point that I am not the most politically minded person, but in light of recent crashes and politicians using their words as daggers I must point out that Sarah Palin must be the most ridiculous pic for VP I have ever had the opportunity to follow during a campaign. It has become apparent that the woman is clueless. If not for aides, and "dry runs" before interviews and campaigns she would be a HOT MESS instead of looking like an over-rehearsed pageant wannabe. Now I am not a huge SNL fan, but Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have become comic gold on that show. If not on Weekend update, the two of them always manage to make even the most serious of political faux pas the funniest damn thing on television. In honor of them I have included the last two skits they have done together as Sarah Palin and Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin and Katie Couric. I hope you enjoy!
Friday, October 3, 2008
When I grow up
So clearly revolutionizing the bagel business is not in the cards for me. Who knew that when I was promoted I would be working two months later still getting paid the $8/hr doing double the work! I've been brewing up an escape plan, but I thought I might run it by you guys first!
First option: I leave now, move to Timbuktu and become part of some indigenous tribe and learn a rain dance. With the economy being such crap and Gas being such a hot commodity, maybe bringing the rain could become a valuable skill. My only concern is my irrational fear of all things creepy and crawly. I'm pretty sure my first sighting of a large insect would send me into a tizzy and cause me to hyperventilate. It hasn't happened yet, but you all know there is always a first time for everything.
Option 2: Suck it up! I stay at the Bagel shop for the rest of the semester and pray for a raise eventually. The only draw back is that I risk losing it and randomly pummeling some poor unsuspecting Main Line customer. Not only would it get me fired, but it may land me in the slammer, and I like to think that I am too pretty and too young to become Bertha's new BFF!
Option 3: This is probably my most rational option of all. I start looking for a big kid job, and stick it out until I find one. The only drawback is that I have to admit defeat and actually become a grown up. Going for my Masters was supposed to help put off the inevitable growing up process but it seems I cannot put it off any longer. Alas, my childhood was a good one, maybe being an adult won't be so bad.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The First One
So as many of my friends know, I've been working as a quasi au pair for a little over a year, and recently began working for a new bagel shop in my area. Emily, or "The Brat", as I sometimes refer to her as is the 11 year old daughter of a divorced "Main Line Mommy." She has her moments where she can be really cute, almost entertaining, but then there are the times when I could almost mistake her for the devil's spawn. You know the type. She can go from sweet to toxic as fast as it takes to say NO! In the year that I've lived with her and her mother there have been many times when I have had to fight the urge to simly get up and pack up my things and leave because of the crap her mother takes from her. At first, she tried pulling that crap with me. Stomping around when she didn't get her way, screaming, and all out temper tantrums, but pretty soon she realized HOMIE DON"T PLAY THAT! Being an Au pair or being involved in any kind of child care can be the BEST form of birth control ever. Honestly working with a child like Emily makes me wonder if I want to deal with a child and NOT BE ABLE TO GIVE HIM/HER BACK!
I know it may sound harsh but how would You like to be woken up at 6:30 in the morning by a girl screaming at her mother because she won't let her go downstairs to watch TV before breakfast. I later tried to explain to Emily that had that been me with my parents, I would've been smacked so hard and so fast I would've felt it the next time I thought about raising my voice at them again.
For those of you that don't know the Main Line in Pennsylvania(right outside of Philly), let me paint a pretty picture for you. If you walk into the bagel shop I work for and take a good long look around you will most likely see the studious college student tapping away at the keys on their Mac(or other sweet piece of machinery), Moms with their precious little tykes dressed in "Baby Polo" and Crocs, the unaffected youth(too cool for school) yapping away on their cell phone, The high school students, or as I like to call them "prostitots" grabbing a snack on the walk home from school(mom and dad are too busy at work to come pick them up).Let's not forget the one or two "crazies" that like to frequent our establishment. Life would just be too boring without them wouldn't it? A day just wouldn't be complete with that one person that makes you feel like ants are crawling under your skin.
Working at the Bagel Shop has been an adventure. I mean, there are burn hazards, knives being wielded and waves of rich people coming in demanding their scooped out sesame seed bagels with light cream cheese(believe me if we could remove the carbs, they would have us do it too) and waiting for us to screw up so they have someone to yell at. I would be remiss if I didn't mention the mountains of dishes I get to wash, and end of day paper work i get to do, all for a whopping $8/hr. I know, my BA is being put to work!
I work with a nice mix of people. From a manager who enjoys making myself and my co-workers feel uber uncomfortable from telling one guy he would keep his girlfriend occupied while he helped closed the store, to calling most of the female workers baby just about every chance he gets(I have somehow managed to get him out of calling me baby by mastering the ice queen stare whenever he slips up).To a 21 year old mamma's boy who refused to come in (Aka) because he never had a day off (either at work or school) and had a, get this, 3-page paper due the next day and he had "just found out about it." Yeah, I work with a few real winners. Don't get me wrong. I've got my gal pals that I gossip with, because a work environment is just hostile if you don't get to people watch and make fun of the people you see. However, some of my co-workers are enough to drive the pope to drink. I find myself going to a corner of the bakery(sometimes the walk-in refrigerator) to take deep cleansing breaths a lot because of them. I try to keep away violent rage as best I can. I find that frown lines are not attractive at all.
I know it may sound harsh but how would You like to be woken up at 6:30 in the morning by a girl screaming at her mother because she won't let her go downstairs to watch TV before breakfast. I later tried to explain to Emily that had that been me with my parents, I would've been smacked so hard and so fast I would've felt it the next time I thought about raising my voice at them again.
For those of you that don't know the Main Line in Pennsylvania(right outside of Philly), let me paint a pretty picture for you. If you walk into the bagel shop I work for and take a good long look around you will most likely see the studious college student tapping away at the keys on their Mac(or other sweet piece of machinery), Moms with their precious little tykes dressed in "Baby Polo" and Crocs, the unaffected youth(too cool for school) yapping away on their cell phone, The high school students, or as I like to call them "prostitots" grabbing a snack on the walk home from school(mom and dad are too busy at work to come pick them up).Let's not forget the one or two "crazies" that like to frequent our establishment. Life would just be too boring without them wouldn't it? A day just wouldn't be complete with that one person that makes you feel like ants are crawling under your skin.
Working at the Bagel Shop has been an adventure. I mean, there are burn hazards, knives being wielded and waves of rich people coming in demanding their scooped out sesame seed bagels with light cream cheese(believe me if we could remove the carbs, they would have us do it too) and waiting for us to screw up so they have someone to yell at. I would be remiss if I didn't mention the mountains of dishes I get to wash, and end of day paper work i get to do, all for a whopping $8/hr. I know, my BA is being put to work!
I work with a nice mix of people. From a manager who enjoys making myself and my co-workers feel uber uncomfortable from telling one guy he would keep his girlfriend occupied while he helped closed the store, to calling most of the female workers baby just about every chance he gets(I have somehow managed to get him out of calling me baby by mastering the ice queen stare whenever he slips up).To a 21 year old mamma's boy who refused to come in (Aka) because he never had a day off (either at work or school) and had a, get this, 3-page paper due the next day and he had "just found out about it." Yeah, I work with a few real winners. Don't get me wrong. I've got my gal pals that I gossip with, because a work environment is just hostile if you don't get to people watch and make fun of the people you see. However, some of my co-workers are enough to drive the pope to drink. I find myself going to a corner of the bakery(sometimes the walk-in refrigerator) to take deep cleansing breaths a lot because of them. I try to keep away violent rage as best I can. I find that frown lines are not attractive at all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)